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About Varied / Hobbyist Ash20/Female/United States Group :iconlivinginthenight: LivingInTheNight
Breathe The Madness
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Deviant for 5 Years
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Statistics 126 Deviations 919 Comments 7,434 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

A Letter for a Good Dog
Dear Madison,
Did I tell you all those times how much I loved you? For a time I don't think I even knew, but my fondest hope is that you saw through me like even I couldn't.
When I look back through all the pictures, there are so many things I don't know how I missed, like that tired look that came over you years ago. We justified in so many ways, we didn't want you to be sick, but more importantly, I don't know how I missed the love in those eyes. I hope that love means you felt how my heart didn't know quite how to express itself. You were never as snuggly as Zoey, but I miss those nights when you would throw my blankets off to cover yourself, or stubbornly refuse to move so I could lie down. I wish you were here to give me that look like asking you to get down from the couch made me the most heinous of fiends to ever walk this Earth.
I wish you were here so your bowl didn't have to sit empty on a shelf.
I wish you were here to just be on my bed when I wake up, even though I could sw
:iconflashingnumbers:flashingnumbers 8 3
I wanted to reach you
your eyes,
your heart
I wondered if you heard me anymore, 
in the dark,
in your mind
I wanted to make you smile
and I felt the tears
in my stomach,
my soul cried
because I missed you
I missed your heart
where it connected to mine
if only for a moment
I wanted to reach you again
Because I had forgotten
How much I loved you,
Because I had forgotten
the song my own soul
Once played.
Give me faith,
Because I've lost mine,
In a mess of sound without rhythm 
Give me music
Because I've lost mine.
in the shallow passage of time
I'm awake now
Give me life.
:iconflashingnumbers:flashingnumbers 2 4
Shades of Humanity
Softer peace
now hear me cry
The human angels come
In life, in light
in darkened fear
stand by we all as one
Though fleeting eyes
and faded years
still haunt us in the night
We stand at once
with shaking hands
to mend your fractured sighs
Come forth
in waves, less eager sons
To fall upon your knees
In life, in death
we fill our parts
amid the hallowed creed
though broken hearts
and tearful eyes
may fall on empty sight
We wage a war
beyond the war
we're marching for our lives.
:iconflashingnumbers:flashingnumbers 1 0
He wasn’t familiar with the sound of the car. Maybe if he’d known he would have had time to move, but Samson was a cat who had spent the whole of his life sheltered inside, his whole life up until the day his human had carelessly left the front door open while bringing in her groceries. Samson couldn’t place what had changed in his human in the days before he left, but she had stopped paying nearly any attention to him at all. Under other circumstances, Samson would never have gone outside without his human knowing; he wouldn’t want to worry her, except that on this day he had been sure that she wouldn’t notice. He would be back before she missed him, and if she did somehow notice, then perhaps she might remember to cuddle with him a little more often, maybe even greet him with a fond nuzzle the way she did.
 The problem was that Samson didn’t know how to get back to his human now. In reality, Samson wasn’t even quite sure what had happene
:iconflashingnumbers:flashingnumbers 2 0
We are clouds
Full of dreams and rain
The occasional thunderstorm
And the possibility of an overcast day.
I am a body, empty of sensation.
Empty for so long that for a time,
I barely noticed.
For a time I learned the art of the liar;
The smile without feeling,
The dance proclaiming that all is well,
When in reality, all is simply waiting for
all of the backs to turn
to fall on its knees and shout
“why must I always be alone?”
But dependence and independence blur past
Opposite extremes.
They blur over such lines, that as soon
As I end my resistance, I’m falling.
And I have fallen for you.
I am an empty body
So void of sensation that I am scared not
To dance in the rain, not to feel that little
Bit of fury within my veins when I shout
To the sky
“I am not afraid!”
I am an empty body
A cloud
Floating beside you
For when I float beside you
The nerves within me are alive.
So fully that I feel all things I thought
So fleeting as if they will
:iconflashingnumbers:flashingnumbers 4 1
 He was made of stars, and lived like a poem. Soft, and yet intense, filled with passion, and occasionally lapsing into nothing as all of the words and bright lights twined themselves back together and tried to heal the wounds. Wounds he inflicted upon himself through flaws in his broken form of love. The precious stars, they lived on words and emotion, burning together to form the poetic light which tried to shine for anyone who dared to see it. So often people would borrow of this light, and so often would his words fall away as the stars struggled to continue the reactions that would keep them alive. 
 “take my hand” he offered again, and as she did, the light shuddered, but he wouldn’t feel it. He was certain that she would replace what she took before he ever missed it.
 “take my hand” and the stars shimmered in a silent cry.
“I’ll walk with you” she promised “I will walk with you over that old road, so that
:iconflashingnumbers:flashingnumbers 4 2
If you were big
Like the tallest tree looming over the forest
Then maybe you would have the strength
To save the lives you fight for.
If you were strong
Like the rapid currents as the river winds
Then maybe you would have the courage
To pull against the hands that hold you back.
If you were brave
Like the fearless wolf who stalks the night
Then maybe you would have the chance
To win the war you’ve waged inside.
But you’re small,
you’re weak,
you’re scared
for your life.
You were big
When we were small
Big enough to fight the fears
Which tore us from inside.
You were strong
When we were weak
Strong enough to hold us up
When it was all we could do to breathe.
You were brave
When we were cowards
Brave enough to help us battle
The monsters from which we ran.
If you were beautiful
As the rising sun past a broken night
Then maybe you could hold a heart
And be loved.
But you are more beautiful
Than the dawn as it
:iconflashingnumbers:flashingnumbers 5 2
Moving On
 Ever moving forward
through plain
 Waging war
with hunger,
you're vast beyond your
 Striving for creation
of endless
truth in
 you're fighting
the stagnation,
through your years of
 You're holding to
your weakness,
to help you know your
 Watching all
your memories,
they're fighting in the
 You're clinging to
the pieces
that put you where you
 Don't look back
before crossing,
you've already gone too
:iconflashingnumbers:flashingnumbers 0 0
Passing Time
The setting sun
pours over the earth
sparks fire on the blue horizon.
This is the hour of the end;
when animals of the day
retreat to their homes, and prepare for sleep
as creatures of the night awake.
When orange streaks of light steal the sky
as the sun tucks its head beneath the darkening blue
and the air holds a colder wind
though the atmosphere is slowly melting.
This is the hour of fire;
Until the sun slips away
and the moon's silver rises to the blackening sky
as the wind settles with a chill
consuming the land in a beautiful blanket
of stillness and speckled lights.
This is the hour of silence:
until the sun peaks again
and brightens the frozen land
sending yellow streams from the edges of the Earth
to warm the quiet air,
and the sky is heated by a softer light.
This is the hour of life.
:iconflashingnumbers:flashingnumbers 5 1
The Art of Falling
If I could Fly
then I wouldn't be falling
I may be a bird,
but my wings have been clipped.
You'll see me smile,
but I'm really quite sullen
A new dream is burned
by every attempt. 
:iconflashingnumbers:flashingnumbers 1 0
 I fell
When my fingers barely caught
what my mind had failed to grasp.
 But now,
as my hands give way
and my mind reaches out with uncertainty,
 I'll dream
So my arms might turn to wings
Before my mind lets go.
:iconflashingnumbers:flashingnumbers 9 9
The paper's not important;
it is vital.
It looks appealing, sits still waiting,
holding some fragile information
that exists in all of two places,
unless you're lucky.
who is anyone to claim that your passion is trivial?
Your life force
The very core of your existence,
who are they to say that you don't matter?
The words are not important,
they are vital .
Like the blood,
Like the oxygen,
Like the life that fills your eyes,
and floods your soul with that
feeling that promises that you do matter.
A fire could take the paper,
A bullet could take your mind,
but maybe, if you reach far enough,
Your words will burn brighter,
Echo louder,
Linger longer...
than anything that seeks to destroy them.
Maybe if you stretch, and bend,
and scream your heart loud enough...
Your voice voice will resonate...
Through a a lifetime.
And another.
And forever...
Your life is not important,
it's vital.
To someone.
It must be.
:iconflashingnumbers:flashingnumbers 20 12
There Was a Valiant Clock
In a moment my inspiration struck
on a clock which refused repose
There’s a peace in this darkness
A warmth that dances on the edges
Of a cool and dreary sky
And when it’s raining
I can feel myself again;
The child,
Who I once thought lost.
And with the gentle keys of a piano
Ringing into the grey clouds
I can breathe.
Without fear of a monster,
The ticking clock leads on.
Through the night,
And through the rain
We prosper.
:iconflashingnumbers:flashingnumbers 3 2
February Air
Their eyes kept softly on the horizon, as gentle pinks and yellows smudged the sky and the surrounding indigo melted to powder blue. The old man sighed in contentment, and the stranger smiled as he did.
 “Can you believe the view up here?” The young stranger asked, pulling his coat more tightly around his shoulders to block out the chill in the morning air.
“Oh, yes” replied the old man “I thought I remembered it so clearly, but I suppose no old memory can stand up to the real thing.”
“You mean you’ve been up here before?” He asked, barely glancing in the older man’s direction.
“Not for a long time… I didn’t think I’d ever be in Paris again. Didn’t think I’d ever be able to see this another time before I die…” He looked gently toward the rising sun for a moment, a wistful smile playing on his lips. “I met my wife up here.” He added after a moment, so quietly, t
:iconflashingnumbers:flashingnumbers 10 9
Carpe Diem - The Latin YOLO?
    On the morning of February eleventh, the question “What does Carpe Diem mean?”
was posed during Mr. Radtke’s second period English class. The question hung in the air
 as the students wracked their tiny minds for the answer, until one quiet girl offered meaning.
  “Seize the day.” But what exactly does it mean to seize the day? According to one young
 eleventh grader from Radtke’s class, it means YOLO.
   When the idea of “Carpe Diem.” Or “Seize the day.” was described to the class by Radtke,
the student immediately made a connection between the Latin phrase and YOLO, causing a
mix of shock and elation to flood the classroom. Students were utterly unable to comprehend
a link between a well-known Latin phrase and their own ape-like calls; the mere thought of it
had them shouting and laughing even louder than was usual for the bunch.
 “OHHHHHHHH!!!” One boy is reported
:iconflashingnumbers:flashingnumbers 5 10
where is life?
Not here.
We're so caught up in damn games
we are so lost in this mess of money, and popularity
and so obsessed with the perfect job, the prefect house,
the things.
"You can be anything. As long as it's not stupid."
What if I am an artist?
What if I can't see myself being anything else, or getting dumber right along with the rest of the forsaken planet?
What if I hate the damn touch screen because I like the click if my keyboard
more than the popping sound that comes only if your volume is up?
What if I like the scratch of my pencil racing against my paper, and the perfectly sloppy scrawl of inky letters with unnecessary loops and turns just because I want to put myself into it.
What if I am more concerned with being myself and with loving what I love than I am with being rich?
What if I would rather have three close friends than a million adoring fans?
What if all I ever want to be is an artist?
If I want to be anything, everything, just like I was told I could as a chi
:iconflashingnumbers:flashingnumbers 13 27


Alex-Meo highfive by AlexanderPaupoff Alex-Meo highfive :iconalexanderpaupoff:AlexanderPaupoff 12 4 Daisy by Prowl71 Daisy :iconprowl71:Prowl71 3 2 Bat Kirby by AlexanderPaupoff Bat Kirby :iconalexanderpaupoff:AlexanderPaupoff 29 23
The colors we live in
We live in a mess.
One we've created ourselves, through our stubbornness and fear.
We believe the world is black and white and we've made no thought of color.
Yet we see in blue in red,
and so we speak in purple.
The sound crashes against our ears,
telling us to live like yellow.
Yet we're striving for green,
and falling short.
Wondering why our lives turned out so chartreuse.
It's that yellow in your green.  Or more fittingly, the green in your yellow.
How about you stop being so maroon,
and be a little more magenta?
You're nowhere on track.
You're living so brown.
Open up a rainbow.
I'm loving like violet now.
Take on every shade, parade every highlight.
Wrap me up in orange,
I promise not to fight it.
You believe it's black and white but the cracks are getting bigger,
as the open minded people
start believing colors.
:iconslinky1996:Slinky1996 3 0
I watched the crime from the passenger's seat
A flash, that's all I saw
Hanging in thin air
Long gone
But still there
And I know I should have stopped
But woe is me for so
Vision cropped
Deaf to naked prayer
Blue eyes have mine
Carried innocence before
Wracked with sin
The darkness they adorn
Thieves doth wrench the property
In broad break of day
Dastardly folly
To another victim prey
Young lad with his hands in the air
Face stiff with fear
I remain full aware
Watching as he's jeered
But alas, I move not
As the car passes him by
My tears hot
Where they burn my shameful eye
Police cars go streaming past me
As the criminals try to run
I hear there to be
The far away click of a gun
Leave me be
My loathsome self in shame
Deaf to the stream
Of voices as they call my name.
I am so sorry
I failed you darling
I am consumed by shame
And I don't even know your name
:iconwrittenruse:WrittenRuse 1 4
Colorful Tiger Eye by Lucky978 Colorful Tiger Eye :iconlucky978:Lucky978 2,978 96 Cicek *2 by INVIV0 Cicek *2 :iconinviv0:INVIV0 975 41 Sky Fishing by nokeek Sky Fishing :iconnokeek:nokeek 413 63
Sometimes things affect you differently than you expected.
You expect to enjoy yourself, to have fun, and you do...
At first,
And then something unexpected happens,
And you find yourself sitting in a parking lot crying.
Everyone has their own reasons, and even though we are together,
Our separate reasons isolate us.
We find ourselves alone in the company of friends,
And we try to keep our reasons to ourselves,
Because we know our friends are hurting too.
We don't want to burden them with our pain when they have their own,
But sometimes simply knowing that they're there,
Having them close,
And knowing its ok to cry,
Because everyone is crying.
Sometimes that's all you need.
Everyone needs a meltdown every once in a while.
Everyone needs a moment to cry and scream,
And have friends who understand,
Even if they don't.
I'm not crying now,
But i'll probably brake down a few more times tonight.
But that's okay.
I'll feel better in the morning.
We all will.
:iconslinky1996:Slinky1996 2 4
For The Heart
Hope Is For The Mind,
For The Heart You Need Faith.
:icondraganthemighty:DraganTheMighty 195 77
The Piano Boy
What melody does this young one play
Of silent eyes and starlit rain
Moonlit winds drift by him round
As echoed notes reach out in vain
Yes, my eyes are captured by
And heart by stricken lullaby
That he does orchestrate on whim
As shattered notes force me to cry
And yet, while echoes touch my heart
Not another soul does start
Drifting by on journeys end
Nothing near to a remark
But he plays not for my love for him
Nor the scourges' paradigm
But his eyes on the piano rest
Taken as one to his limbs
He does not see me anyhow
His smile starlight in eyes brown
Dare he not look up at me
Lest he cease his melodic sound
Oh, his name I do not know
And love for him I do not own
But his music has captured me
As I look upon this rogue
With no word I shall depart
But imprisoned shall remain my heart
Not in the boy's shining brown eyes
But in the melody lit with stars.
:iconwrittenruse:WrittenRuse 4 12
Squirrel by ajd041 Squirrel :iconajd041:ajd041 5 0 Cloudy Walls by pendrym Cloudy Walls :iconpendrym:pendrym 113 13


flashingnumbers has started a donation pool!
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 My journal has been the same for faaar too long, so I figured what better time to introduce Rylie, my dysfunctional little jack russell-chihuahua puppy!?

 I've had the little monster for about seven months now, and she's possibly the weirdest little creature in the world, I'm eighty nine percent sure that she's actually a weird goose-deer hybrid, but she's awfully sweet.
Her favorite passtimes are:
:bulletblue:chewing on the furniture
:bulletpink:being confused as to where she can use the bathroom
:bulletpurple:chewing on my feet
:bulletwhite:being insanely adorable
:bulletorange:annoying the other dogs
:bulletblue: acting like she's never seen people when they leave for ten seconds

Img 20151031 040947 by flashingnumbers

And that's the puppy.
farewell, all.


flashingnumbers's Profile Picture
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
I'm an amateur artist and aspiring author.


Add a Comment:
WrittenRuse Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2016
This is super late but Happy Birthday!
flashingnumbers Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you! :)
I almost forgot my birthday even happened on here.
IYodelForFun Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2016
Happy birthday!
flashingnumbers Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks. :)
AlexanderPaupoff Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2016
Thank you :)
Zyleenyshadino Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thankd 4 the watching :-)
DylanSeto Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2014   Artist

Just wanted to thank you for the fave!

Also, since I'm currently focusing on music, I was wondering if you'd be interested in supporting me in that endeavor of mine?

If you are, I can link you to where you can find that stuff!
flashingnumbers Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I'd be glad to give it a look if you provide the links. :)
DylanSeto Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2014   Artist


Let me know what you think :)
Add a Comment: